As Father’s Day messages go, you may not think much of it. But to me, this message from my 3-year-old daughter in a card she made at nursery, is gold.
While obviously dictated (her handwriting isn’t that good), one of the reasons I love it is I know that it’s genuine. Our shared love of Star Wars has become a defining aspect of our relationship.
Those of you who follow my blog will know I’m rather into all things Star Wars, and most people – especially those who know me – assume that I’m merely indoctrinating my young
padawan daughter into the ways of the force. The truth is rather more complicated than that. I have a bit of a confession to make. Until a couple of years ago, I was actually a pretty lapsed Star Wars fanboy.
“I am a Star Wars fan, like my father before me.”
I had always intended to show my daughter Star Wars, and if interested to give her my old toys when she was older. I figured probably when she was 7 or so, the age I saw Star Wars. But before she was even 2-years-old, she saw one of Jeffrey Brown’s Vader books and loved it. Not long after, I brought my old Star Wars toys home from my parents – intending to store them in the attic for next few years – but they never made it past the living room. She spotted them and they’ve been a permanent fixture there ever since. If I remember correctly, it was my wife who encouraged me to show our daughter Star Wars.
She also plays with my old Star Wars LEGO, and lacking a Princess Leia minifig, made some up herself. She frequently chooses to wear her Star Wars clothes (especially a certain skirt!), and dress up as Darth Vader. She also enjoys trying to chop my arms off with her lightsaber. While I clearly delight in all this, it is instigated by her.
So the thing is – rather than me trying to mould her into a Star Wars fan, her enthusiasm for the galaxy far, far away has actually reawakened my own Star Wars fandom, inspiring me to reconnect with these beloved characters and scenarios I thought I had relegated to simple nostalgia. Her enthusiasm for the saga frequently surpasses my own.
“I want to watch Star Wars.” Not now. “I want to watch it now.” Not now. “l want to watch it!”. No! Being a parent is really hard sometimes.
— Man vs Pink (@ManVsPink) February 26, 2015
Is Star Wars for Girls?
Because she was embracing this so eagerly, the world of Star Wars merchandise became a bit of a gendered marketing battleground for me. But through this I have also connected with the amazing Star Wars fangirl community, who engage with Star Wars in ways that us fanboys never really considered. Many of them are also from a younger generation, so came to the saga via a different path. I had never heard of Ahsoka Tano a year ago, and now my daughter and I are enjoying discovering her unfolding story in The Clone Wars cartoon that I had previously ignored. The fangirl community is amazing, and should my daughter continue to enjoy these geeky interests, I am so glad that there is such a warm, loving, and inspiring community out there for her to join.
“You have taken your first step into a larger world.”
I love her Father’s Day message because it places value on the fact that I watch Star Wars with her. I always sit with her when she watches anything while home with me. I have never used the TV as a babysitter (this is probably why I get a lot less done around the house than I should!).
To me the television is not a passive pursuit, a device you turn on to tune out of life for a while. It is something to engage with. To discover new stories, strange new worlds, incredible ideas, and inspiring people. To stimulate your mind, and create questions you will seek to answer. So when my daughter and I watch TV together, watch Star Wars together, I answer any of her questions and discuss them further if needs be.
For example, what happened to Obi-Wan when he had the lightsaber fight with Darth Vader? A talk about death and how people live on in the memories of those who love them took place. When Princess Leia was shown in her skimpy ‘slave’ outfit in Return of the Jedi, my daughter asked “Why has Princess Leia got no clothes on?”. An early discussion about slavery, objectification, and sexual objectification ensued.
You will read endless articles portraying a generation of kids having too much ‘screentime’, but less on what they’re actually watching, and very little about how we as parents empower our children to understand, analyse, and question what they’re being presented with. They are growing up in the digital age, and it’s our responsibility to ensure they’re media savvy as early as possible.
So watching Star Wars with her, creating an environment where she can engage and analyse it, has been an important part of her own development and our parent & child relationship.
But she loves Star Wars as a story too, and has been happy to watch each film in a single sitting ever since she was 2-years-old. Of the characters, my daughter is a big Princess Leia fan but her other favourite one is Darth Vader. The reason? Because he’s Princess Leia’s daddy.
I don’t know how long my daughter’s love of it will last, but for now this is our thing as a father & daughter. So I’ll take my daughter thinking I’m super because I watch Star Wars with her. I also think she’s pretty awesome for watching it with me too.